Power Isn’t Toxic. But the Unhealed Often Are

 

I didn’t know how much I needed the question until I heard it.
It didn’t provoke me.
It recognised me.

“Where’s the line between power and toxicity…
Or are they just two different names for the same control?”

It wasn’t theory.
It was lived.
And I’ve lived it too.

Because power, on its own, is neutral.
But in the hands of the unhealed,
It becomes performance.
And often punishment.

I’ve seen rooms where confidence becomes cruelty.
Where titles are used to wound, not to serve.
Where silence is rewarded until it’s no longer useful.
Where your grace is mistaken for weakness
, and your success becomes a threat to those who never healed before leading.

Toxic power isn’t loud.
It’s subtle.
It’s the smile that silences.
The policy that isolates.
The praise that disappears when you stop shrinking.

True power, by contrast, doesn’t need to dominate.
It doesn’t humiliate.
It doesn’t perform.

It sees.
It steadies.
It makes space.

The difference?
Intention.
And the maturity to hold your position
without projecting your pain.

Some of us were taught to strive for excellence.
But not too excellent.
Resilient, but never visibly worn.
Honest, but only when our truth didn’t disturb the room.

And when we still got discarded,
despite following every rule

We learned the truth that no handbook taught us:

Power isn’t toxic.
But when it’s wielded by the insecure,
It punishes what it cannot control.

So if you’ve ever had to translate your decency,
dim your brilliance,
Or apologise for your presence

That wasn’t growth.
That was survival.

And survival teaches you what power can’t.

It teaches you to read the room
, but stop letting the room rewrite you.

It teaches you that protecting your peace
sometimes means walking away from what you once called success.

Because the difference between power and poison is this:

One controls.
The other liberates.

Let them misunderstand you.
Let them call your healing “too sensitive” and your clarity “too much.”
Let them twist the narrative.

But never betray yourself to stay in rooms
that only see your worth when you’re silent.

Real power doesn’t raise its voice.
It raises people. -by DR. TUNDE